Good Days and Not So Good Days

Yesterday was tough. Really tough. It was just my second day with Adam back at work and I didn’t make it through the day.

The night before was a long one. Ben woke at least every two hours and we were usually up with him for an hour of each of those two hour windows. I ended up nursing him a good bit and dozing in bed with Ben in my arms. Those are very sweet times, but not very restful times.

The next morning, Carter and Adam left a bit before 9:00 for Carter’s first day of pre-school. I was hoping to snag a quick morning nap as Ben napped, but he had other plans and we basically walked around the house and outside until it was time for us to go pick up Carter from pre-school. I loaded him into the carseat and we headed out. I then pulled over probably just a mile or so away from home because Ben was crying so hard I was afraid he wasn’t getting enough air. I got him out of the carseat and tried to comfort him but all that happened was that I started crying with him! It was 11:50 and I was supposed to pick Carter up in 10 minutes. Knowing we weren’t going to make it, I called Adam and he was headed for the car before I could even ask him to.

I felt terrible. First because Ben was still wailing and I wasn’t able to comfort him. Second because we had been telling Carter all along that Daddy would take him to pre-school and that Mama and Ben would pick him up. I really wanted to be there to see how his first day went, to see his face light up when he realized we were there to pick him up, and also to have the accomplishment of having a successful outing with both boys without Daddy. I was feeling pretty pitiful. I rocked Ben a bit more until he tired out and fell asleep and we headed back home. Carter and Daddy pulled up a few minutes later and Adam stayed through lunch to give me a bit of a break.

The afternoon wasn’t much better. I assumed Carter would be exhausted from his first day of pre-school and would take a great nap. Instead, Carter decided to not nap at all. I think these boys are already teaming up on me! Ben did ok during the afternoon, and I think he took a 30-45 minute nap in his bassinet. But once Daddy got home, Ben’s fussiness escalated. Adam let me eat with Carter while he took a turn with Ben. We then traded off and I took Ben while he ate dinner and played with Carter outside. After several minutes of extreme fussiness, my tears started up again. Ben and I cried together for a bit then I finally asked Adam for help again. My sweet husband took him for a walk and the house was quiet. I fed Ben at 7:45 and Adam sent me to bed at 8:30. I gladly obeyed and the next thing I knew it was 12:30!!! I definitely needed some sleep – thank you Adam. Ben had a great night last night. He went to sleep again shortly after the midnight feeding and didn’t wake again until 4:45. After that feeding we all slept until we heard Carter around 7:30.

Today has been so much better. I feel rested. Ben took a good morning nap. Carter and I made cookies and he got to open a new sticker book from a secret “big brother” stash I created before Ben was born. Both boys are napping now and Gram is on her way and should be here by dinner.



The lesson of yesterday? Two is an entirely different ballgame than one. I know there will be hard days. Sleepless nights. Napless days. And I know there will be good days too.